Thursday, April 3

18 Things I’ve learned in the past year, in no particular order:

Blogs aren’t completely stupid.

“Because I can!” doesn’t always make a good excuse.

Watch out for school zones.

Microwaves are fun (until you have to clean up).

EBay is not fun (unless you enjoy heated email-debates).

If your computer speakers seem very quiet, check to see if you have headphones plugged in before turning your sound all the way up. When you do realize you have headphones plugged in, don't stick them in your ears until you turn your sound back down.

Energy drinks aren’t meant to be consumed in mass quantities on Saturday nights.

The golden Uzi is disappointing.

Snowboards have two bindings for a reason. You also aren’t supposed to snowboard, hike, or walk on sprained ankles for a reason.

The Broncos are horrible.

People who say “Pets are worth the time and money they consume” probably haven’t had a pet recently.

I’m not coordinated enough to do the Hokey Pokey, so if that’s what it’s all about, I’m doomed.

You are supposed to breathe at some point while playing the trumpet.

Some “drivers” enjoy suddenly backing up without looking behind them…

40-gallon watering carts are not meant to be pushed at full speed over bumps.

There’s a good reason why people always say “friends” when asked what they are thankful for -– life wouldn’t be worth living without friends to talk at and make fun of.

Time can tell when you’re having fun, and it intentionally speeds up.

Being OLD isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. (Yes, I have to say "Eh?" every 5 seconds, use a walker, and have my food puréed, but at least I can still collect miniatures and knit booties for my cat.)

14 people bored enough to comment:

Jack Bauer said...

"The golden Uzi is disappointing."

LOL...the golden anything is disappointing... at least in the virtual world :P

Very funny and insightful advice!!!

Steven said...

What wisdom.
Thanks for sharing.
I'm laughing! The post was quite good. I didn't remember the watering carts... Now, that, was good fun.

David said...

Wow!! LOL

Good post!

Beth said...

Yeah Steve, however I didn't flip it in a populated area like you did...so no one got to laugh at me huffing and puffing trying to lift it up again.
I did have to chase it a few times down Avanza's hill though. :D

sarah m said...

I love it. I should do that if I ever get old...lol.

Benjanerd said...

Wow! You can actually remember what you've done a year ago even though you're that old? :D

Seriously, though, very nice and funny :-) (I want to know more about a couple of the items, though -- like did you pass out while playing your trumpet and did you have to drain the water out and why on earth would anyone want a friend and what happened when you drank too much energy drink :-)

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what happened when you didn't breathe while playing the trumpet?

Anonymous said...

Something I learned: Baseball are meant to be used outside.

Beth said...

Ben's LCD shattered from his brothers' audio experiment...yours broke from a little baseball...and I just tapped mine with a soft football and look what it did!
They must have a weak spot in that particular place...

Beth said...

Oh, and nope, I've never completely passed out from playing the trumpet, but come close enough several times that I've had to lie down. Trying to play lots of Arban's triple-tonguing exercises in one breath just isn't the best idea...even if your teacher says it is. x-P

Benjanerd said...

LOL -- Sounds like Kellie trying to play the bagpipes :-)

Anonymous said...

You just barely tapped yours!? They sure don't make them like they used to! :-)

Arban's can be fun...sometimes. My teacher makes me play the solos in the back that are all marked piano or pianissimo. I have a hard time playing them quiet enough. :-)
I haven't worked on triple tonguing much.
The only time I almost passed out while playing the trumpet was during band rehearsal and I hadn't eaten lunch.

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